You know you're in the Deep South when...

...the miniature golf course has a plastic bright yellow plaque at every hole with a Bible verse printed on it.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the Deep South. My mom is from Savannah and I have yet to see a prettier city with friendlier, more interesting people. The summer humidity there immediately makes me feel at home (even through the profuse perspiration) because I've visited there ever summer of my life. GA and SC are vacation to me. Homes away from home in which I always feel I'm luxuriating: hitting the beach multiple times a day and eating shrimp and grits and Krispy Kremes. I'm used to the heaviness of the air on my skin and butter-filled food in my belly, as well as to the suffocating omnipresence of religion in the area. Sunday mornings before church lets out (and all brunch locations are bombarded) you can nary find a non-vacationing soul outdoors, and you won't go far without running up against a "God bless you" from a stranger or, well, a miniature golf course with Bible verses at each hole.

I'm not very religious, and I'm certainly not of the majority religion in the Deep South, but again, I'm immune to the threat I might feel if I hadn't grown up with Southern Baptist grandparents who taught me that real Christians never begrudge anyone their choices. Love others. Help people. That's all that matters to my religiously mellow converted Jewish CA self. So, while I was faced with the fact, on hole one of the Legendary miniature golf course, that according to this verse I was certainly going to Hell, I persevered and completed the course not one but two times (that's a total of 36 holes of God-fearing golf, FYI). And I gotta say, those plaques grew on me. To be honest, they weren't all bible verses, and some of those that weren't - as well as some that were - really did speak the truth.

After passing by the "accept Jesus or you are destined to burn in hell for eternity" type proclamations I happened on a few that really made me pause (when I got a few extra seconds after the boys had found the water on any number of holes) and reflect, which I suspect is what was intended after all.

I was surprised to find this verse, (on hole fourteen no less-just when I was beginning to tire of the fire and brimstone) which sums up exactly what I feel about G-d (that the notion of G-d is love and respect for others). Who would have thunk?

That day I had reluctantly took my boys miniature golfing (I hate it) after promising the water slides on the last day of vacation and finding that they were closed for rebuilding. They got me there kicking and screaming. I left uplifted, reminded by a bunch of cheesy religious plaques that Love is all that really matters. To anyone. Simple as that. As a bonus, both my boys got holes in one that day.